Of Coming Undone

Of Coming Undone

In a perfect world, we could all intermingle with one another and be unaffected by it. But this is not a perfect world.

We are undone by each other’s actions, for better or for worse. Every word, every touch. We chip pieces of ourselves and hand them out. Nobody asked for them, they’re unsolicited, but we do it anyway.

You think just because you’ve been through it before, you can survive it again. You take advantage of your resilience and test your limits. You burn yourself out.

They keep telling you, you can’t dance with the devil and wonder why you’re still in hell.

Wanna keep living in the city? Deal with the hassle. Wanna keep dating in a limbo? Deal with the unanswered questions. Wanna keep working fourteen hours a day? Deal with the stress.

And if you don’t then quit, quit it all. Leave the dance floor! To hell with the devil! But dance long enough and you’ll find that’s not an option. You’ve become addicted to your survival skills, a victim of your strength to endure.

How much more can you add to your plate before you crack? You’re overworked, underpaid, give too much, too soon and don’t get enough back. But, you’re still here.

Build up, stand down, stay put. Rinse and repeat.

It’s a never-ending cycle that you eventually try to break by making some grand decision. You say something along the lines of, from now on, this is who I want to be and this is how I will do it and I won’t lose my self-worth in the process.

It works for weeks, months, years, until one stupid day, no different than any other day, circumstances arise that reveal to you how little you actually know about yourself.

It works until you’re undone, all over again.

What now?

Build up, stand down, stay put. Rinse and repeat.

Inspired by Adan, 22 

One thought on “Of Coming Undone

  1. Maddalena, I always look forward to your writing. I look forward to how you make yourself inspired by life’s observations and ups and downs. You are a consummate writer whose prose is influenced by the currents that surround you. You are a brave soul who risks placing her thoughts, emotions and feelings upon the alter of life, and so to allow others to read, hear, understand your beliefs through comments either solicited or non solicited. This, my dear, defines you in the utmost way as someone who will inspire a generation of readers to come.

    Marcus Lawson

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